STRUGGLING!

I am struggling with this thing called weight! I know what I need to do to get rid of the excess but I don't want to! I just want the end results....do I sound like, Phoebe, my 2 year old or what? I need to get myself together before starting anything though because I am truly tired of this whole merry go round that I have been on. I WANT OFF!

My friend posted today that she is feeling like a marshmellow stuffed in a pen cap today, I can totally relate as this is how I have been feeling lately. I had sucessfully lost about 30 lbs but quickly regained them and am back to weighing more that I did after both of my kids. I am turing 40 this October and had planned on being thin by then...oops. I guess my plans need more than dreams to kick them off.

I did make an appointment with my MD to be sure that my lab work is okay before undergoing anything, I want to do this the correct way and be sure that it will last. Now I know that it won't just disappear, but I would like to deposit it into the bank of fat forever. Small deposits weakly would be just fine. Inside my head is screaming, "I don't want to give anything up". Anything being food....what is my problem???