Well...I am trying to regain some control of my eating. I was doing so d**n well then whamo! what the heck happened. My friend asked me what I was afraid of??? well, I can't seem to figure that out but I need to move on and continue on this journey of weight loss and reclaiming me! First and fore most for me, but also for my kids. I don't want them to grow up watching me struggle with weight loss for the rest of my life. I don't mind them seeing me struggle to maintain my weight because I believe even the thin people do this.....that is why they are thin and I am not! Enough with the negative talk and poor food choices and just plain gluteny. I had reached 228 lbs and have been maintaining, but today the scale was up, only a 1 1/2 but it is up and this isn't going to be the beginning of the gain but the beginning of the loss! My son is having sugery in the morning, the weekend will be my time to regroup my thoughts and focus my energy to healthy choices and start anew. I know I can succeed at this and want to get back to running and living a healthy life. I just need to keep my focus! I am not sure if anyone reads these, but they help clear my head.
Well, off to read my book during a little quiet time! Yeah for me@!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
It's a learning process
235.4lbs.
Well, I didn't wake up one day fat! Why do I continue to think that the process will be easy....eat less, track the input and try to increase the exercise. Well, I certainly didn't wake up one morning and try to put my clothes on and find that rather than a size 12 I am actually a 20. No I got there honestly and happily eating everything in site. I have been struggling the last few weeks because I was faced with some family stuff that I had been ignoring for a long time. Well, I now have to face this and I realize that I have no control over other people and their choices. My husband is going through a tough realization and it scares me. So what do I do? Well, I turn to the fat/sweet/gooey and cruchy therapist that I have used for years.
My challenge this week it so acknowledge this habit and try to identify the feelings and thoughts before putting food in my trap mindlessly. I'm not saying that I won't eat the things I am craving but hopefully if I identify the feelings I may beable to pass by the cookie dough. (although sometimes it just tastes really good!)
My goals for this upcoming week are to continue to track honestly, eat within my points and hopefully increase my activity. The weather is supposed to be pretty crappy, so I will definately try but I certainly don't see myself heading out in the cold and nasty rain to walk! But hey, you never know.
This weekend is Mother's Day. The husband doesn't believe in the "Hallmark" holidays, but I hope that he has heard my hints and at least trys to get the kids into a little something for me and my day. I mean, I did get the day off, that should tell him that others think its an important day. But I am trying not to get my hopes up. Well, off to my last 2 points of the day...a 2 pt Ice Cream Cone...now that is something to look forward to.
Well, I didn't wake up one day fat! Why do I continue to think that the process will be easy....eat less, track the input and try to increase the exercise. Well, I certainly didn't wake up one morning and try to put my clothes on and find that rather than a size 12 I am actually a 20. No I got there honestly and happily eating everything in site. I have been struggling the last few weeks because I was faced with some family stuff that I had been ignoring for a long time. Well, I now have to face this and I realize that I have no control over other people and their choices. My husband is going through a tough realization and it scares me. So what do I do? Well, I turn to the fat/sweet/gooey and cruchy therapist that I have used for years.
My challenge this week it so acknowledge this habit and try to identify the feelings and thoughts before putting food in my trap mindlessly. I'm not saying that I won't eat the things I am craving but hopefully if I identify the feelings I may beable to pass by the cookie dough. (although sometimes it just tastes really good!)
My goals for this upcoming week are to continue to track honestly, eat within my points and hopefully increase my activity. The weather is supposed to be pretty crappy, so I will definately try but I certainly don't see myself heading out in the cold and nasty rain to walk! But hey, you never know.
This weekend is Mother's Day. The husband doesn't believe in the "Hallmark" holidays, but I hope that he has heard my hints and at least trys to get the kids into a little something for me and my day. I mean, I did get the day off, that should tell him that others think its an important day. But I am trying not to get my hopes up. Well, off to my last 2 points of the day...a 2 pt Ice Cream Cone...now that is something to look forward to.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Sometimes life really sucks!
Week 4 has been challange! Many things have come down upon me and my family this week. My husband is struggling with his personal challanges and is finally asking for help. We celebrated Addisons 5th birthday with his friends and the next day with our family. Needless to say...stress and exhaustion turned me back to food as a coping mechanism.
I woke up today and restarted my resolve to us food a fuel first....the day went well. I am trying to give myself a little break...everything that has been happening over the last month is taking its toll...I need to take some down time to care for myself and my needs. Blogging is one of those things that I want to do for myself...just to get all the stuff out!
So today I journalled, stayed within my points and threw out the rest of the damn cake. No one but me eats the stuff...and I am paying money to loose weight, therefore the cake is gone. I am going to weigh in in the morning. I am ready for little to no weight loss this week and likely next week too. As I read early on- I am treating this as a pregnancy when you want to not be pregnant any longer you can just throw in the towel, you need to continue through the whole nine months (God willing). My due date isn't until December 30th....I will come back after weigh in on Wednesday and update.
I woke up today and restarted my resolve to us food a fuel first....the day went well. I am trying to give myself a little break...everything that has been happening over the last month is taking its toll...I need to take some down time to care for myself and my needs. Blogging is one of those things that I want to do for myself...just to get all the stuff out!
So today I journalled, stayed within my points and threw out the rest of the damn cake. No one but me eats the stuff...and I am paying money to loose weight, therefore the cake is gone. I am going to weigh in in the morning. I am ready for little to no weight loss this week and likely next week too. As I read early on- I am treating this as a pregnancy when you want to not be pregnant any longer you can just throw in the towel, you need to continue through the whole nine months (God willing). My due date isn't until December 30th....I will come back after weigh in on Wednesday and update.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Oh Crap! I mean to sit down and blog every night...but then the kids go to bed and I am done! Anyway, I am on week three of my WW program...I have had 6.8 lbs off to date. Tomorrow is meeting day :@ I am actually excited to see how things are going. I feel like I have been doing things well...but Easter was yesterday...so I now have candy around that I wouldn't normally have. I have been writing down everything that goes into my mouth and I did get some exercise points today....Hey I didn't get this fat can overnight...I have to give myself some time.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
243lbs
Well, so far things are going okay! First week down and on my way. I was really pleased with the weight loss, just starting to get crazy...figuring out how long it will take to meet my goals if I loose 2 lbs/week. I have to stop this thought process, it will just set me up! I am not sure if it is purely because I am soooo tired. My daughter has yet another cold and hasn't been sleeping through the night again. I have also picked up some extra time to cover vacations at work. I am trying to keep focused but at times loose sight of the big picture-> a life without weight obsessions! I truly hope that when I reach my goal weight that I will be very aware of where my weight is and keep it within a 5 lb range! My aunt manages to do this nicely and it makes everything easier when you only have 5 lbs to loose vs the 80lbs I am facing right now. Well, off to surf for inspiration!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
START
Well, here we go! I started my journey to make more "ME" time about one week ago. The most important thing I did for that was to join WW for the ?# time. I am a mother of two and my son lovingly mentioned that I needed to loose my "big belly." So here I am, starting the journey that will finally bring me to my ultimate goal...happiness and a healthy weight.
I am 5'9 and my starting weight was 246 lbs. I have struggled with my weight my whole life, I learned from example, mom mother too, struggles with her weight. I am done with this struggle. I am going to conquer this problem and put it behind me through changing my behaviors around food, education and my stumbles. I know that I can succeed and will!
I am 5'9 and my starting weight was 246 lbs. I have struggled with my weight my whole life, I learned from example, mom mother too, struggles with her weight. I am done with this struggle. I am going to conquer this problem and put it behind me through changing my behaviors around food, education and my stumbles. I know that I can succeed and will!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)